Sometimes, throughout our lives we all meet idiotic fools,
People who delight in nothing more then disregarding rules.
So if your present company, just isn’t quite what it ought to be,
Then maybe, I can lend a hand… you see.

I’m Percy Weasley, Mr. Percy Weasley,
The kind of lad you’d invite around for tea,
I’m pleasant and polite, and incredibly bright,
And I’ve got a glowing record at the Magic Ministry

I’m Percy Weasley, not in the least bit sleazy,
Dapper in robes and even muggle suits.
I’m amazingly delightful, my comments quite insightful,
And a large number of Os for my OWLs and in my NEWTs.

I’m Percy Weasley, my music’s never cheesy,
My slender voice always hits the right notes.
No mater what you’ve heard, from George don’t believe a word-
I’m not that close with Aberforth and I’ve never played with goats.

[Kazoo Solo! (Wizard Rock to the max!)]

I will admit there’ve been times when things haven’t turned out right,
You might even say they turned out slightly wrong.
But really! What the hell! On these thoughts we shouldn’t dwell,
Especially when we’re in the middle of such a jolly song!

I’m Percy Weasley, if you’re ever feeling queasy,
I’ll flick my wand and make you right as rain!
It’s really quite alarming, just how good I am at charming,
With me around you’ll never feel the urge to wretch again!

I’m Percy Weasley, Mr. Percy Weasley,
But I really must be leaving presently,
I’m truly please to have met you, but I doubt that could come close to,
How pleased you must have been to’ve met me!